that invite should open your Bibles to
the book of first Corinthians chapter
thirteen as you remember we're talking
about issues related to community what
does it mean to have relationships with
each other what does it mean to be a
Christian community and so first
Corinthians 13 talks about the heart of
the matter it talks about love what does
it mean to really love one another very
often in society and in music and in
movies love is considered a feeling
that's sentimental but what does it
really mean in the nitty-gritty what
does it mean to love one another and
thank God he doesn't leave it to our
imagination first Corinthians 13 he gets
very specific with us about what love
means I don't remember what I talked
about a couple weeks ago love is not
rude remember that love is not rude we
talked for a whole day about rudeness
and how love is not rude now I hope
nobody pulled that out and used it on
their spouse or their kids or their
mother and said love is not rude these
are meant more for us to apply to our
lives not necessarily to apply to the
lives of others right but to our own
lives and another as we get into these
sermons sometimes people might think was
was Greg talking about that because of
you know what I said or what I just want
to let you know it just happens to be
next in the text okay whatever i'm
preaching I'm not aiming it at a person
in particular but with that said if the
shoe fits by all means first Corinthians
13 let's keep going here verse 5 still
verse 5 and we're actually gonna skip a
phrase and come back to that later and
we'll skip ahead to the right in the
middle of the verse it says love is not
rude it is not self-seeking it is not
easily angered it keeps no record of
wrongs love is not easily angered it
keeps no record of
let's pray for that father in Jesus name
I thank you that your love is true love
God and in Jesus name we set aside the
preconceptions we might have about love
sentimental idealistic imaginary
concepts of beautiful feelings and
fireworks god I thank you for the
sensation of being in love I thank you
for the wonder of loving a little infant
but God I also thank you for the daily
love that we express to people day by
day over the long term where the rubber
hits the road and I thank you that that
is every bit as glorious as the kinds of
emotional love their celebrated in the
movies and God I pray that we would be
men and women who are primarily
characterized by love father that if
there is one thing we get right in our
lives alongside the gospel the true
gospel of knowing Jesus let it be this
when we come before your throne let us
be judged and evaluated on the quality
of our love for the people that you have
sent us to serve Lord God let us get
this right as much as we possibly can
and let this reflection together be one
small part of our preparation together
to be more and more the men and women
that you've called us to be in the
community you've called us to be that we
would be a church God in a the English
expression of Lion of Judah that is
characterized by love Lord God let this
not just be words let it be a reality
that people can feel and observe among
us Lord God so speak to us speak through
us I pray in Jesus name Amen love is not
easily angered love is not provoked love
keeps no record of wrongs in the King
James love thinketh no evil we'll talk
about what that means in Spanish el amor
no se Rita no guarda rank or love is not
irritable nor
resentful anyone ever been irritable
anyone irritable today do you don't have
to admit it we don't need to see hands
go up resentful now this is talking
about anger how we process anger in our
lives the little irritations and the
things that make us angry that we
remember they made us angry and we've
got them written down in a mental list
that we carry around and review from
time to time love is not easily angered
love keeps no record of wrongs and I
want to start by saying that if you say
you've never been annoyed first of all
you're lying okay and it's a good thing
you'll be lying because someone who
doesn't get annoyed is not alive right
you're either a robot or you're a very
strange person could you imagine a
person who is so tranquil that nothing
ever bothers them nothing ever ever ever
ruffles their feathers that person would
actually give you the creeps no because
you like something's wrong with them
what are they up to it would be a very
creepy thing the real villains and the
movies are usually people who seem
unflappable that's weird unruffle they
don't get upset normal people get
annoyed sometimes normal people get
angry sometimes okay that's normal
that's healthy that's human God gets
angry sometimes there are things that
annoy Jesus the question is what do we
get angry about and what do we do with
the anger or the annoyance once we have
it now one thing I want to also say in
Spanish there's a great saying CUDA are
saying salud which is basically curing
yourself when you're already healthy it
means you're doing a disclaimer I don't
want us to come out of this message
thinking we all need to be you know if
you've heard the phrase serenity now you
ever seen anyone ever watched Seinfeld
you don't have to admit it it's like the
only TV show i refer to
it was occurring to me as I was thinking
of using this illustration people are
gonna think you're not Greg haven't you
watch TV since the 90s you know and have
you seen anything you know since then
you know it's all I got okay it's all I
god I haven't seen a whole lot more
there is a character in this TV show
this seinfeld TV show named Kramer you
might remember right everyone's got a
Kramer in his life right I'm someone's
Kramer we all have Kramer right is a
very flaky person he decided one day he
was going to adopt a self-help
philosophy called serenity now serenity
now whenever he was upset deep breath
serenity now serenity now I am NOT
annoyed serenity now he even went out
and bought or he got AAA screamed or
even though he lived in an apartment in
Manhattan he got a screen door like and
put it on his front door to pretend he
was like it was like a porch of a
Midwestern neighborhood Alice you know
peaceful serenity now serenity now and
then every time don't go wrong he's it's
ok doesn't bother me things don't bother
me anymore I've learned the secret of
serenity you know it's like a cult right
serenity now and one day he was sitting
out in front of his screen door and and
the neighbors came by and noticed that
some people had vandalized the screen
door they spray-painted they put some
insects ok it's just those kids hot
those kids serenity now serenity now
doesn't bother me then a little later in
the show right he's sitting in his lawn
chair right he had a lawn like a porch
chair that he put in front of his door
in this apartment building and he's
sitting there and his neighbor comes out
and notices that now the kids had not
just vandalized the door they had
vandalized him there was shaving cream
all over him and the door there was
toilet paper all over him and spray
paint and he was just sitting there this
right now Serena
serenity now and the neighbors like
Kramer you are right in there you all
right uh yeah that's the kids serenity
now serenity now a little later in the
show some other character in the show
had ten computer stored in the apartment
because he was selling them and Kramer
one point just yelled serenity now and
just goes nuts and you hear these
explosions and these breaking said he
basically destroyed 10 computers sir
heading a bad measure he came in the
room all relaxed and happy and of course
his neighbor's deficit he just destroyed
10 computers and he's like yeah I owe
you one buddy and he's happy right that
is not what I am encouraging us to do
okay cuz when you explode I don't want
to be there for the explosion all right
serenity now is not the teaching on love
we're talking about here okay what I
don't want is it's normal when somebody
vandalize is something that's yours for
you to be annoyed by that they've
crossed a boundary if somebody
vandalizes you I certainly hope you get
annoyed and offended if you're a healthy
person a person who doesn't get bothered
when somebody crosses your boundaries
and does something inappropriate to you
is not a healthy person they don't
respect themselves they don't value
themselves okay so I'm not saying that
people never get angry and the Bible
doesn't call us to never get angry does
a great verse Ephesians 4 26 and maybe
they can find it up there oh we've got
some real we got the gangway we have the
dream team up there on projections so I
know we got Frank back and everybody and
the beautiful couple so the verse
Ephesians 4 verse 26 in your anger do
not sin and do not let the Sun go down
on your anger don't give the devil a
foothold be an eighth the literal in the
King James it says be ye angry get angry
that's ok but don't sin and don't let
the Sun go down on your anger don't hold
it don't hold that resentment to the
next day because that gives the devil a
foothold in your life
in your relationships now many of us we
don't just hold anger from one day to
another we hold it from one week to
another one month to another one year
hundreds and thousands of times the sun
goes down on our anger and it becomes
part of us so anger is not sinful in and
of itself it's what we do with it it's
learning to cultivate a calm generous
posture towards the people around us so
that I'm not a bomb ready to explode
remember the word we learned for
patients a few weeks ago I taught you
some Greek here mackerel foo may anyone
remember what it means literally macro
long sume in greek through mail burn
long burn long fuse slow burn it's that
you don't explode quickly there's a long
slow burn before you're going to get
angry you don't get angry quickly you're
not ready to explode at people there's a
great verse James 119 James 119 that
says each of you should take note of
this let each of you be quick to listen
quick to listen what are we usually
quick to do quick the talk you know
quick to listen slow to speak and slow
to become angry you should be a person
that people can say yeah he can get
angry or she can get angry but they
don't get angry easily and then they
don't stay angry for long because that's
the point it's not about getting angry
it's that we get angry too quickly and
we stay angry too long that's the
problem right so let's talk about that
let's start with getting angry too
quickly love a la moda no say Rita the
literal word in the Greek is is not
provoked it's it's a word that it means
cutting alongside cutting close the
image is somebody's poking you any
siblings do that to each other I know
too
little human beings in my house that
will poke one another until the other
one reacts right and that's the goal to
get them to react right you poke until
the person is provoked as I stop that
someone's poking you there jabbing at
you to provoke a reaction now actually
in the in the New Testament that word is
not very common but it is used once of a
good thing you know by the way the
thumping upstairs means it's a bunch of
kids jumping up and down praising Jesus
isn't that great in that case it's not a
herd of we don't keep you know animals
up there although they do behave like
chivos seen lay much of the time if
you're that worried goats without law
but the thumping upstairs so when we
hear that we just like praise god this
whole building is just rocking with
praise for Jesus right so it's like
background worship for us so that's
that's cool I have no problem with that
serenity now sometimes we do need to
talk ourselves into these things right
it's okay it's okay poking providing the
the other word for this word for being
provoked or being annoyed is used of the
Apostle Paul when he was in Athens the
night is he he had a night to kick
around when he got there I'm just wander
around the city and he saw all these
idols all over the place and the Bible
said his spirit was provoked within him
and then he went on to preach in the ER
Appa ghus so there are some things this
should provoke us that should bother us
I believe that's what the word used of
Samson when he was in the Philistine
camp one of his better moments not his
not so better moment one of his better
moments when he was in the Philistine
camp and he said the spirit stirred
within him the word in Hebrew is stirred
in an annoying way like stirred him up
like started bothering him because he
was seeing the idols there there should
be some when you see evil around you in
the world it should bother us it should
provoke us right so that's okay that
kind of provocation but usually we're
not provoked because God's honor is
offended why are we usually provoked
someone has pushed our button someone's
offended our on or
someone has annoyed us in some way we've
all got buttons okay we've all got
buttons that can be pushed right the
problem is we have too many buttons some
of us are covered with buttons you just
touch a boom you hit a button boma hey
see the idea is stepping on someone's
toes right you ever heard that phrase in
English those of you that are second
language speakers are learning a bunch
of idioms today to say stepping someone
steps on your toes means pay molesta
they annoy you the problem is some of us
have very big toes to get stepped on
very easily we're quick to the horn in
traffic were quick to become angry super
sensitive thin-skinned irritable
explosive volatile easily offended okay
if anyone can identify with this we're
moving along now again I want to say
again that getting annoyed sometimes is
a good thing Jesus I believe when he got
angry and he tipped over the tables in
the temple he the night before he had
gone just like Colin Athens he looked
around he saw these people setting up
tables of money changers in the courts
that were for the Gentiles to come and
pray and the weak and the sick and other
people who were ceremony and cleaned to
come and pray and they had filled those
courts with tables so that people
couldn't come and pray and they were
turning the house of God into a den of
thieves Jesus was annoyed by that he was
angry by that he made a whip can you
just imagine what the apostles must have
thought that night they're all around
the campfire relaxing Jesus what would
what are you working on over there oh
nothing it looks like you're weaving
something together that's just my whip
whip yeah I'm just going to go to the
temple tomorrow and I'm going to be
needing my whip I got some whipping to
do over there now people say those were
used on the animals that needed to be
moved along I don't know Jesus didn't
just fly off the handle because somebody
looked at him funny he didn't fly off
the handle because someone may be
offended him he said the Bible says
he'll for thy house will consume
me the house of God is to be a holy
place they were abusing his father's
house they were abusing the people of
God that's worth getting angry about so
we should be provoked for the right
reasons not for the wrong reasons now
let's talk about this a little bit more
why do we get annoyed why do things
bother us so much what pushes your
buttons traffic tailgaters slow drivers
if anyone thinks they don't get an
annoyed to spend some time caring for
young children and the most calm person
might lose his temper now and again your
spouse your boss what are the things
that annoy you in your life we're
talking about just to review love is not
easily angered love does not keep a
record of wrongs okay tell a little
story little family story we were in the
bathroom having our nighttime routine
and this was a great night we were all
together it's pretty rare all four of us
there and teeth are getting brushed and
people getting clean and and my little
my little five-year-old she was she was
four at the time little girl who tends
to be a very dramatic child right one
might almost say drama princess you know
this is it very dramatic she feels
things deeply and intensely and she
asked can I she was renting her mouth
with some of the the mouthwash right and
she asked can I drink this and we said
you know no that's just for rinsing then
you spit it out and then we're doing our
stuff and then we look over here ahh and
we see head back mouth open whaley LA
and tears streaming down those enormous
cheeks because she couldn't drink the
mouthwash and we were genuinely shocked
we were like whoa she still she
surprised us she was easily angered why
was she so easily angered well she was
very tired right she probably had a hard
day maybe she was a little sick and
she's she was she's four years old you
know she for and she so those the
problem is some of us are 44 or more
and we still weep over the mouthwash we
just make a big deal Nick here's another
saying for those of you second language
english learners making a mountain out
of a little molehill you take a molehill
o our god or satan vaso de agua right
you take a little thing and you make it
very very big now we do that sometimes
because we're tired some of us live a
lifestyle where we are chronically tired
no I have learned never to make a
life-changing decision on mondays okay
that's my crash a day the adrenaline of
sunday is and I'm crashing I'm tired and
I've learned whatever I'm thinking or
feeling do not put it in writing and do
not verbalize it because you won't feel
the same way tomorrow when we're tired
we're more easily angered that we all
have our own times where we're more
tired when we're tight think about it
certain muscles hurt more when you poke
them if they're extremely tight if
they're cramping up right so if you're
tight if you're tense if you're anxious
if you're in a hurry or you're nervous
about something BAM you'll just so
there's that anxiety that tightness
where we're in a hurry we're anxious
we're frustrated maybe because I can't
do this thing and then someone says
something in BAM we're easily angered at
them right so sometimes we're tired
sometimes we're tight sometimes a
certain spot hurts when you poke it
because it's been hurt before right you
have a tender spot because you got a
bruise there someone pokes you out
because it's very sensitive it's
touching a sore spot in your life well
some of us have been wounded in our
lives by people and there's things that
bother us easily because it reminds us
of something but wait a minute but he's
not that person doesn't matter he
reminds me of them and we react quickly
right because of we're sensitive a lot
of the violence that happens on the
street is because in a lot of the people
who have committed violent crime it's
because they struggle with being very
sensitive some of them are called to be
great counselors because they have
sensitive hearts but they
haven't yet gotten it submitted to the
Lord and they're too sensitive somebody
looked at me funny got a fight you know
somebody said something uh what do you
mean by that violent a lot of the
violence in our society is committed not
by hard people but by sensitive people
who just need to learn to submit that to
the Lord and then that sensitivity to
can make them just help do beautiful
things for the world so I've seen that
praise god I see that an awful lot
actually also sometimes we are easily
angered because we're insecure somebody
looks at me funny and I'm already a
little unsure of myself so I immediately
think he's looking at me that way
because he thinks he thinks I'm ugly
what it thinks is because of this is
because of that is because there's a
certain insecurity and you assume the
worst right instead of being secured
knowing I'm all right somebody looks at
me funny maybe they're having a bad day
right maybe it's not maybe it has
nothing to do with me maybe they're just
grumpy people and they would look at
anything funny but no we're sensitive so
we get angry quickly sometimes we're too
self-absorbed or like you know and we're
so into ourselves we have trouble
thinking of why a person might be doing
something many reasons we can be very
sensitive and easily angered now here's
where I'm going with this often we think
it is selfish to take care of ourselves
no to rest to take a break to take a day
off to take a nap but sometimes by you
taking care of yourself it's the most
loving thing you can do for the people
around you because what is the
atmosphere of your life right are you
the kind of person that when you come
home or you come into a place there's
this cloud around you and everyone or
because you're easily angered and
everyone around you how do they have to
behave gotta walk on his another say
you're learning oh I hope you're keeping
notes they you're probably not learning
it but you're getting a lot of good
idioms if you're learn walk on eggshells
can be nada sobre punta dito so i think
it is in spanish you got to be super
careful got to be really careful because
this person might get offended you got
to be careful around him you want people
to walk on egg
shells around you well it's better than
them giving you a hard time right some
of us cultivate grumpiness so everyone
else will be off ballads cuz well at
least they're not going to mess with me
that way let them be afraid of me right
and I could understand what could
motivate that but the whole idea they
might be careful around you but they're
not really gonna love you don't fear you
they'll fear you maybe they'll be polite
to you but is that really what we want
as Christians I don't I mean yes we
should expect respect and we should
demand it but at the same time you want
people to feel free with you that they
can relax that in your presence people
can take a deep breath their muscles can
unwind and they can open up to you
that's what we want we want to be that
kind of person we want to be a safe
person a person who cultivates calmness
and generosity if you'll turn with me to
Philippians chapter 4 Philippians
chapter 4 there's some great verses
about how to do this Philippians 4 these
verses are written to two strong female
Christian leaders who were embroiled in
a good old fashioned church fight no you
know you ever seen a church fight know
if you're a visitor and you're not a
Christian or you're new to us I hate to
break this to you fight can and do
happen in church they shouldn't but they
do feed their conflicts happen right and
there was a biggie here in the early
church so before we think we're so bad
remember that this has been going on a
long time it's what we do with it
Philippians chapter 4 verse to the
Apostle Paul is pleading with these
ladies I plead with you you odia and I
plead with sin tu que to agree with each
other in the Lord yes and I ask you a
leo fellow some lead or a person who's
trying to mediate help these women
who've contended at my side in the cause
of the gospel along with Clement and the
rest of my fellow workers whose names
are written in the book of life and then
he talks about how to change the
atmosphere because it sounds like this
conflict had spread and produced a tense
atmosphere have you ever been in a
of tension maybe at work or a home or a
church where there's a tension in the
air every little thing becomes a big
thing every little comment becomes a big
conflict tension it's not a free
atmosphere so the Apostle Paul is
teaching them how to cultivate a
different atmosphere and atmosphere of
freedom of love he says in verse 4
rejoice in the Lord always I will say it
again rejoice let's get a little humor
in this let's get some laughter let's
not take ourselves or others as
seriously as we do sometimes just need
to relax it's not the end of the world
everything is going to work out we're
going to be okay all right rejoice in
the Lord always then it says let your
gentleness be evident to all you might
be strong but you're not going to use
that strength in a negative way be
gentle the Lord is near it's God's
presence that cultivates that verse 6 do
not be anxious about anything but in
everything by prayer and petition with
Thanksgiving present your requests to
God and the peace of God that passes all
understanding will guard your hearts and
your minds in Christ Jesus as we take
those things we're stressed about we
pray about it instead of complaining we
give thanks and suddenly the air starts
to lighten and we start to feel a little
more relaxed and the atmosphere becomes
more free and we're less easily angered
and finally it says brothers whatever is
true whatever is noble whatever is right
whatever is pure whatever is lovely
whatever is admirable if anything is
excellent or praiseworthy think about
such things you know I've always read
this verse as trying to cultivate a
positive attitude in life and thinking
just about the positive in the world and
I think that's okay you know to some
degree but this is a context of
resolving a personal conflict so instead
of thinking about all the things you are
angry about it about that person all the
things you hate about that person well
is there anything good about them at all
that you can think of anything nice
about this lady anything positive
excellent praiseworthy noble let's think
about such things the word for think
there is the same word that is used in
first Corinthians 13 5 when it says love
does not keep a record of wrongs love
doesn't think about evil in the sense of
attributing evil we're going to come
back to this so cultivating a peaceful
atmosphere that my life would be such
that creates an atmosphere of freedom
and peace of generosity I learned how to
breathe in the Lord where the verse said
that says be still and know that I am
God I will be exalted in the nation's I
will be exalted in the earth God is
saying I am on my throne you can be
still there's another verse in Isaiah 32
verse 10 that says in repentance and
rest is your salvation in quietness and
Trust is your hope but then it says you
would have none of it you got on horses
and you're running around trying to get
help somewhere else cuz if you just take
a deep breath trust me I really can't
take care of things and that helps us
have an attitude that is not explosive
and easily irritated hey man we ready to
pray for that breathe it in breathe it
in okay I'm not aiming but the shoe is
fitting so please let's put it on now
let's move on the second half of first
Corinthians 15 says love keeps no record
of wrongs now again remember we said the
problem is not getting angry the problem
is that we get angry too quickly we
already talked about that and it also is
that we stay angry too long we keep a
record of wrongs you know there are
psychologists who are not Christians and
it's it's actually in style today in the
psychological field to talk about the
concept of forgiveness that's become a
hot topic can you believe it Christians
have been you know we've been working on
this for an awfully long time and now
secular psychology is seeing all the
health benefits of forgiveness and
here's the issue
anger is a good thing right we already
talked about it anger is from God it's a
mechanism God's given us to defend
ourselves when we're under attack right
if a Lions attacking you you're angry at
your fighting and your adrenaline goes
up and you fight and you focus or you
run away so anger is part of God's
survival mechanism in us but that
emotion is not supposed to human body is
not designed to carry anger except in
very small short doses to get angry and
to stay angry or to get angry too often
is like taking a drug that you're
overdosing on a drug that actually hurts
your body it puts you at risk for heart
disease put you at risk for high blood
pressure it puts you at risk for
digestive ailments for sleep disorders
all kinds of bad things happen when we
get angry and when we stay angry for too
long so even secular psychologists are
saying you know we need to learn to not
keep a record of wrongs towards other
people and that is what the verse says I
mean it's an interesting word that's
used for keeping a record of wrongs it's
the word log is this thigh which is a
word it's a mathematical accounting word
it means love doesn't take the wrong
that someone has committed into account
as love is dealing with that person let
me talk about this a little more I do I
don't know if we have any accountants in
the room but apparently the fiscal year
I did not do especially well into my
economics class but the fiscal year
ended last like a few days ago like a
week or so ago May thirtieth or
something and so sometimes people would
there are expenses that are incurred in
a business like maybe they paid for
something or wrote a check in may of
2014 but it's not cleared until June so
they need to decide as an accountant
under what year are we going to reckon
are we going to put that expense are we
going to put it under 2014 or 2015
expense but where am I going to put it
where are we going to write it down and
that makes a difference that's sort of
what this verse is saying love doesn't
take an evil committed and write it down
on like a mental accounting ledger that
we have as we deal with people see what
most of us do naturally intuitively is
when a person has done some things
especially to you to bother you you keep
you make a mental note of it may be more
than a mental note and you write it down
in your brain and every time you're
dealing with that person you're just
thinking I remember when you did this
that and the other thing and I do you
remember now to some degree that's a
good thing okay if somebody has like
been mean to you five times there's no
reason to give an opportunity to do it a
sixth time please okay so to some degree
there's nothing wrong with being wise
but it's a problem in a relationship
where you're trying to grow with a
person and all you can remember is what
she did five years ago or what he did 15
years ago and then like a prosecuting
attorney we pull it out and say remember
what you did this and that the other
thing it's like wait a minute we're
talking about I burnt the eggs this
morning and you're talking about when I
you know made a mistake 10 years ago and
we remember and we keep a record of
wrongs God is saying love takes out an
eraser and erases the list of grievances
and says clean slate let's start from
scratch here ok there's the word for it
is forgiveness for giving us interesting
one of the translations of this verse
love is not irritable or resentful if
you look up the etymology of the word to
resent is from santee day in in Latin
Spanish you know senti it or feel re you
feel it again when we resent we have
resentment the person who committed that
the grievance against us doesn't suffer
who suffers I'm the one who suffer
because I'm carrying what they did to me
I'm feeling it again and again and again
it's almost like I'm letting him hurt me
over and over and over again I'm not
getting anywhere the person went on with
their life I'm the one who's here
nursing it holding on to it letting it
make contort distort my emotions in my
feelings and God says erase the record
of wrongs learn to forgive now that's
something I want to talk about here as
we begin to to bring this home this is a
biblical concept forgive one another
just as god in christ forgave you this
is not just so we'll be healthy this is
a profoundly important commandment that
God Himself gave us if you look at the
lord's prayer itself you know that our
Father our Father who art in heaven
hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come
there's a pretty important part of it
forgive us our trespasses anyone
remember how the rest of it goes as we
forgive those who trespass against us
you can mutter it it's okay we can do
that we're Protestants but we can we can
say the Lord's Prayer still Rockets okay
it's art friar do you forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who
trespass against us now if you're
praying that prayer every day it means
every day you're forgiving people you're
thinking about people who annoy you on a
daily basis and if nobody annoys you on
a daily basis you're living on a desert
island all by yourself because if you're
with people then someone's going to
bother you and in church by the way if
no if no one in church has annoyed you
yet it's your first day here it really
is because and even if it's your first
day someone's probably annoyed you since
you got here right it's it's human its
natural that's why we need to forgive on
a daily basis I call that our daily
hygiene forgiveness just like how often
do you brush your teeth right I hope at
least a couple times a day right how
often why well because you eat every day
the teeth get dirty got to keep them
clean if forgiveness is the same
every day we get dirty with annoyances
every day gotta brush the brush those
teeth every day forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who
trespass against us another word for
this debt forgive us our debts what i
owe you god there's people when they've
wrong to me they owe me I said well I'm
gonna be like an accountant I'm gonna
cancel that debt they don't know me
anymore so on a daily basis now there's
a parable you know the parable of the
unforgiving servant and we know that
story Jesus told very intense story
about a servant who owed I don't know
what was the amount it was they owed a
hundred bucks they couldn't pay it in
those days you don't pay your debt you
could go to jail he begs the the the the
person he owes the the lender says
please forgive the debt I oh please
don't send me in my family to jail the
man says I forgive your debt I forgive
it the guy oh no I'm sorry I told the
story totally wrong here you're willing
to take a step back with me he didn't Oh
100 bucks he owed a hundred thousand
dollars right okay we're talking major
student loans going on here right only
you know hundred thousand dollars he
owed a debt he could never possibly pay
in his lifetime he was in danger of
going to jail and the lender forgave his
debt and he goes out joyful and happy
and then he finds somebody who who did
Oh him a hundred bucks and he says give
me the hundred bucks you owe me and the
guys I don't have it just give me a week
please I've got to go to work ya know to
jail he sends that guy to jail says no
you owe me and you're going to jail
until you pay the last penny now the man
who forgave him a hundred thousand
dollars called him in angry about it and
says I forgave you for a hundred
thousand dollars you wouldn't forgive
this man for 100 very often we won't
forgive because we don't realize how
much we have been forgiven we think
we're nice people who maybe deserve
God's love you don't deserve God's love
I don't deserve God's love we all have
sinned and fall short of the glory of
God God has forgiven us
and so if God has forgiven me so a debt
I couldn't pay then how much more should
I forgive others this is a profoundly
important thing now I want to talk a
little bit about what forgiveness is not
forgiveness is not the same thing as
reconciliation okay I don't need a
person to come and say they're sorry for
me to forgive them that's important to
know because there are some people who
do bad things who are not sorry right
now it's easier to forgive if someone
comes and says I'm so sorry I did that
it's much easier to forgive and we can
actually be reconciled and be friends
again but forgiveness is not about the
person who wronged me forgiveness is
about me I'm carrying this anger I want
to let it go so I can forgive
unilaterally even if they're not sorry I
can say God this is between me and you I
forgive them I let it go I don't need to
wait for them to be repentant which is a
good thing because some people are never
going to be sorry and I shouldn't have
to carry around bitterness or the wounds
that people have done just because that
person doesn't know enough to be sorry
for what they did forgiveness is not the
same as reconciliation there are some
people you should never be friends with
again okay there are some people who are
just plain out dangerous people and God
does not call you to let yourself be
abused okay there are some people who
what they did is so serious that that
relationship needs to be separate and
God wouldn't want there to be friendship
again especially this is a biggie in the
Facebook age right maybe you want to
reconcile with a member of the opposite
sex that you hurt 20 years ago and now
for facebook you can have access to
being in touch with them again maybe you
want to apologize to them maybe just
apologized to God and don't write them
because what's done is done you move on
they move on you don't need no friending
ex-flame it's okay now I can say this
because I'm I'm not on Facebook so if
you're doing it I don't know you're
doing it you know I'm blissfully
ignorant for the moment about that but
there are some people we need to not be
in contact with forgiveness is not
reconciliation but you can still forgive
you can still forgive okay and let it go
forgiveness is not condoning you don't
need to say oh well what they did really
isn't that bad so I'll erase it it
wasn't a big deal they didn't really
know maybe what they did was bad but
you're forgiving it anyway forgiveness
is not the same as seeking justice or
not seeking justice now let me explain
what I mean there are people who may be
victims of crimes and you need in your
heart to forgive the perpetrator so that
you can move on in life does that mean
you don't press charges I think that is
not the same thing when a person commits
a crime there's a debt to the person
that they victimized there's a debt also
to all of us to society that's where the
justice system comes in and there's also
a debt to God forgiveness means I
canceled my debt the debt you owe me but
you still may owe a debt to Caesar and
you certainly owe a debt to God and
that's between you and God and that's
between you and the government and and
that's those are different things that
go on justice God God says it is mine to
avenge what he says is don't take
justice into your own hands let the
government take care of justice which
hopefully they do they can at least
approximate it we pray and we insist on
the best we can and God we know is a
righteous judge and he will take care of
things in the end of the day and that's
between the person and God so now I
don't have to do it so forgive forgive
the debt I owe and maybe forgive
yourself there are some people here who
need to forgive themselves for things
they did
but they just can't let go of let it go
love others love God love yourself let
it go let it be a race let it be erased
God wants to erase it now so I would
talk about it this way forgiveness is
letting go you know it's interesting I'm
going to start with a secular definition
and then I'm going to bring a God
definition in okay secular definition
forgiveness for secular psychologists
these days there's especially a guy
named Luskan out in San Francisco that
you he's pretty good in this he says
forgiveness is letting go of the past I
always thought I wanted and deserved
okay it's letting go because of negative
things that people did to me or that
happen I didn't get to experience
certain things or experienced and bad
things I shouldn't have and I'm bitter
about that forgiveness is letting go of
the past recognizing there's nothing I
can do in the present to change the past
I'm going to let it go and I'm going to
live today fresh and I will Christianize
it the mercies of God are new every
morning great is thy faithfulness I can
have a new beginning today whatever
happened yesterday or last year 10 years
ago I can't change that but today I can
hear his voice today I can enter his
rest today let it go let it go but the
gospel goes much further than that the
gospel is about canceling a debt and
Jesus even says love your enemies and
pray for those that persecute you bless
and do not curse praying Jesus modeled
it for us on the cross when he said
Father forgive them they don't know what
they're doing it's like there's an image
of letting go of bitterness it's like
resentment is a tight fist they
shouldn't have done it I deserve to be
angry forgiveness is letting go of the
right to be angry god I let go I put
them in your hands I cancel the debt
forgiving and we see that not just Jesus
but if you've read the story of Stephen
in the Bible a man who was martyred they
were throwing stones at him Stephen
because he was preaching the gospel
as he was dying he said father do not
hold this sin against them you know who
one of the people they're supporting the
execution was a young man named Saul who
a couple chapters later God knocked him
down and said Saul Saul why do you
persecute me and he became the Apostle
Paul I believe that was an answer to
Stevens prayer when he prayed father
don't hold this sin against them I
forgive them bless them instead of
punishing them for this and he forgave
now that's big forgiveness now we talked
about brushing your teeth well this is
major dental work okay some of you know
the difference we all need to forgive
every day the little stuff the little
annoyances in a marriage and a family
and a household on the streets of Boston
at work the little things that's an
ongoing daily hygiene but we also many
of us have major major things we need to
forgive and that is not easy I believe
forgiveness is not a moment it's a
process and it's not a feeling it's a
decision by faith just say God I let go
of this before you and with time
sometimes it takes years but with time
those feelings will change and you will
feel free but it might not happen
tomorrow doesn't mean you didn't you
weren't sincere and forgiving it just
means it's a process that you need to do
over and over again and with time you're
going to be a new person you're going to
be free and I want to end with this
story and I'll invite the musicians
because after this will transition right
out of this but I want to tell a story
of something that happened when I was
traveling around Latin America I was in
the country of Nicaragua do we have any
Nicaraguans here right now no we do have
a Nicaraguan member of the church she
they're just not here today the English
ministry i mean i was in nicaragua and
for those of you most of you know the
history there was a time of terrible war
in the 70s and 80s in nicaragua between
the Sandinistas and the Contras
sandanista government took over there
was conference room there was revolution
against them it was a time of terrible
terrible bloodshed with atrocities on
both sides many of you know about this
very well
I was in Nicaragua 1998 so it was about
it was it was about eight years after
the war had pretty much died down but
the memories were fresh right you go to
a war-torn country people remember they
all have stories to tell and on this
trip it was my goal to meet as many
people as possible to learn about the
country's learn about the culture see
what God would teach me if I went to a
church and I was totally on my own in
Nicaragua and I just went to a church
and I met the pastor afterwards it was a
small church and the pastor was a
diminutive man he was he was short he
was it was just a beautiful man of God
beautiful preacher and afterwards I just
got to know him and and he said hey you
want to have lunch and I was like yeah
do i yeah so we went out for lunch and
so I'm sitting with this Nicaraguan
pastor we're having lunch and what I
usually did on this trip is I would ask
people all kinds of questions about
their life about their country about
their story and it's not that I was
being nosy is I was really in a learning
mode right and this guy was like he was
being very evasive with me he wasn't
really telling me his testimony he
wasn't really telling me his story and I
did get a duh it took me a while to
figure out maybe he doesn't want to talk
about it he was me kind of evasive so I
gave him I decided to give him some
space but a little bit into the meal I
don't know what happened but he somehow
decided he was going to trust me right
he decided he was going to tell his
story and he just started talking and he
told me that as a as a boy in Nicaragua
he and his mother had fled the country
and gone to Honduras to undo to us and
they were there and while they were
there his father was captured by the by
the sandanista government I'm not doing
this to make any kind of political
statement there were atrocities on both
sides of that terrible war but his
father was captured and was was tortured
and killed and this happened in his town
there are people who people he knew who
knew who did it he didn't know who did
it but he knew it was like he could have
found out pretty easily was not far away
he was a kid at the time I think he was
about 11 12 you know
he decided he was going to join their
work on three camps in Honduras where
they were training young men to go back
and and promote the the revolution
against the sandanista government and he
decided I'm going to be a contra and he
joins the camps right and he's training
and as a kid 13-14 training for war you
know children and war so he was training
for this and he's telling me a story and
he said I was going to go back and I was
going to get revenge for what they did
to my father and and he was sharing this
with me but when he was 14 he and his
mother started going to a church and
they became Christians right and he
decided maybe I'll wait a couple years
and then I'll go back and do it even
though he was a Christian he was still
decided to stick with his plan but then
he got baptized then he started praying
then he started coming to the altar and
crying and praying get filled with the
Holy Spirit and next thing you know he
was just like well maybe I won't go back
and join coming here I'll just stay here
and keep growing spiritually and he
stayed there for many years grew as a
Christian went back as a young young man
and he was so such a non-fire Christian
he quickly became a pastor and the
churches were decimated during that time
he became a pastor right away and he was
telling me the story and I will never
forget this moment he's looking across
it was one of those life-changing
moments he's looking across at me and
and he said I have forgiven them he said
when I when I went back there are people
who offered my mother and me to get
revenge they said we know who did it
will take care of it for you just pay us
and we'll do it and his mother said no
thank you and he said no thank you and
he said I have forgiven those people and
he will never forget you staring him
he's looking cuz now we're not eating
right I put down the fork along he's
just staring at me and he got this glow
this this Jesus glow coming out of his
face and he's saying I have forgiven
them and he said one day I will find
those men and I will share the gospel of
Jesus Christ with those men and they
will get saved
and I was just like and I just thought
you know there's a verse that says where
Jesus said blessed are the eyes that see
what you see blessed are the ears that
hear what you hear this doesn't happen
without the gospel this doesn't happen
without Jesus but it happened it was
real I met this guy I know he meant it
and in his church now in this war-torn
country there are people who were on
both sides of that conflict worshiping
Jesus together in his church which is
part of what doesn't tell his story very
often right cuz there's a pastor he
can't be over identified with one side
or the other but he pastors now people
who politically were all over the
spectrum a man of God joy love shining
from and one of the healthiest most
anointed people I've ever met my life
that can be our story too we can do this
we can't do it on our own but with with
the gospel with Jesus in our hearts we
can forgive we can let go of things and
a lot of us is that connecting the being
easily angered with the holding of
record of wrongs a lot of us are easily
angered because of a lack of forgiveness
from before so we're still tight they're
still anger the free-floating anger
we're carrying let it go let it go let
it go to Jesus maybe the person you need
to forgive you don't know where they are
the person you need to forgive may not
even be living but you can do it you can
let let it go in God's hands erase that
record of wrongs let God kill your heart