first Corinthians chapter 13 so we've
been talking about issues related to
community what does it mean to be
together to share life together what
does it mean to be a not just people who
happen to come to the same building once
a week or twice a week but to be people
who have relationship with one another
who know each other who are a community
now that's something that doesn't happen
overnight it's a process but it's an
important one because the body of Christ
is an organic thing is we connect to the
body of Christ the life and energy of
Jesus flows into us so it's not
negotiable can't be a Christian alone
any more than you can be married alone
it's got to be in community we're meant
to be together we're a body the body of
Christ one part of the body if it gets
cut off the body will be crippled it may
survive it'll be crippled but that
member will die we need one another and
so that's why it's so important for us
to be talking about this and we've been
talking especially about love and what
that means if there is one thing that we
get right as a church I really hope it's
this that we would love one another that
we would know what that means love is
something that is worth thinking about
it's worth studying it's worth working
at because it won't just be some
ethereal idea some emotional sentimental
thing that has no implications for our
daily life so it's worth taking time to
meditate on what love really means and
what does it mean to be a person that is
defined by this so first Corinthians 13
we've already read about how love is
patient and love is kind and now we're
going to start in ruin verse 5 so first
Corinthians 13 verse 5 there is no
projection but you can find it in your
Bible first Corinthians 13 verse 5 it
says and it's talking about love it says
it is not rude
kicked them that's it for today that's
our text unless someone wants to go on I
think we I think that'll be plenty for
one day huh let's stop there love is not
rude father I pray in Jesus name God
that you would speak to us in this time
God that as a result of what we think
about and talk about here together
father that we would be more loving that
we would be like Jesus Lord God that
people would see the presence of God in
our lives more I thank you that love is
not rude in Jesus name in the King James
it says love does not became behaved
unseemly in Spanish no hace nada in
David all right nalan debido love does
not I love a translation that says love
does not dishonor another person if you
think that's what rudeness does isn't it
when we're rude we in some way dishonor
or lower the other person we bring them
down a notch we do not dishonor belittle
degrade put down love is not a jerk
excuse me anyone here a jerk sometimes I
think we all are just ask your spouse
your your sometimes you know no no
pointing no pointing this verse the word
in greek is only use really one other
place in the new testament in the in its
exact form and that's in first
Corinthians chapter seven verse 36 it's
right near there if you want to turn to
it first Corinthians 7 36 and it's
talking about relationship between
people who are dating or engaged to be
married and it's talking about different
you know levels of appropriateness and
what does it mean to behave
appropriately for a dating couple and it
speaks to
them and it says in first Corinthians
736 if anyone is worried that he might
not be acting honorably toward the
virgin he is engaged to so that's the
word the same word from first
Corinthians 13 5 for rudeness if anyone
is worried that he is being rude or
acting dishonorably toward the virgin
he's engaged to and if his passions are
too strong and he feels he ought to
marry he should do as he wants he's not
sending they should get married so
that's the other context for this isn't
that interesting rudeness here in this
context is crossing a limit violating
the space of the other person going too
far and we're not going to take the
sermon in that direction but it is
talking about how to respect the dignity
and the honor and the space of the other
person when we're rude we violate
people's boundaries we go too far in
some way in what we say in what we do in
how we act we're rude there's a lack I
think the key word in honoring a person
is respecting them that love respects
the other person love notices and
observes the dignity of the person that
is there and that results in courtesy
and politeness and good attention love
is not rude you know often I think when
we think about being polite and being
courteous we think of being super formal
we think of being tight we think of
being stodgy even the last thing you
think about is someone telling a joke
and relaxing and being themselves I
don't think that's what God wants from
us I don't think that Christians need to
be uptight and religious all the time
that's not what I'm talking about you
know it's interesting just this week I
had opportunity to hang out with some
off-duty state troopers some of you
might know the context in which this
happen
was hanging out with these guys and some
of their language was rather colorful
wouldn't you say those of you rather
salty would might say I'm not saying
that a Christian needs to be like huh
scandalize I can't be here no I'm not
saying that Christians can never tell a
joke or laugh at themselves or even
maybe indulge in a good old-fashioned
bathroom humor every now and then if you
have toddlers I hope there's plenty of
that going on in your household within
appropriate boundaries but we can be
ourselves when it talks about love not
being rude and love respecting and
honoring the other people I don't think
that means we need to walk on eggshells
with each other right and be so careful
that you can't really talk freely you
can't be yourself how about that parable
where Jesus says he's teaching us to ask
boldly of him and he says imagine one of
you has a friend who knocks on the door
at midnight and says I have people
who've come on a journey and I have no
bread to put before them it's the middle
of the night and he's knocking and you
say I'm in bad leave me alone it says
you won't that you won't get up and give
him the bread because he's your friend
but because of his boldness his
impudence his shamelessness he's even
pushing the envelope you'll get up and
give them the bread anyone have a friend
like that who can just be themselves
with they can barge in and it's okay I
hope so i think is there's intimacy and
freedom we don't have to walk on
eggshells with each other right we can
we can be ourselves we can be free we
can be loose we can dialogue freely so
with all of that said though there does
need to be a realization of what loving
courtesy and respect is I'm not talking
about a politeness that is based on fear
gotta be careful I don't offend got to
be careful because I might get them
angry at me that's a politeness that's
based on fear what we're talking about
is courtesy that is love motivated it's
not based on I'm afraid
do the wrong thing but I really want to
do the right thing by this person
because this person is a child of the
Living God they're a precious valuable
person that is worthy of all kinds of
good attention and respect and I want to
trip over myself to honor that person
because they deserve it because the
image of God is in them now that's a
different attitude isn't it now there's
freedom and there's joy in it but
there's also politeness and courtesy and
not rudeness so let's talk a little bit
about the different reasons why we are
rude sometimes why are we rude we are
all rude sometimes if you think you're
never rude then you're the worst kind of
rude because you don't know that you're
being rude so we'll be talking about
that okay that's going to be one of my
points here the person who doesn't know
they're being rude right sometimes you
think we're being funny sometimes you
think we're being assertive we're being
bold we're being prophetic we think it's
tough love we think I'm just making my
point really just being rude right don't
we do that sometimes I want to use as
our case study a particular incident of
rudeness that each one of us who drives
has perhaps too experienced okay you're
on one of our lovely streets and
somebody cuts you off in traffic it's
dangerous there could have caused an
accident think to cut you off how rude
anyone ever experienced that anyone ever
done ugly one no no hands raised this
isn't confession time why does a person
do that why are we rude sometimes and I
defined it into four different reasons
okay there's probably a lot more but
we're just going to talk about for today
one because the person doesn't remember
that there's another person in that car
okay now if you ask them they'll say
well of course I know there's a driver
but it's easier to be rude to someone
who's in a car isn't it because you're
you're not seeing
person right there are people who would
never elbow another person out of the
way on the street that would not even
think about cutting that same person off
in traffic why because they're in a car
you can't see them you forget there's a
person there in a sense they are
depersonalized dehumanized it's really
the first step of any kind of evil
towards other people is somehow
forgetting that they're a person that
they're humans so that's one reason
we'll talk about that number two
sometimes people will cut off people in
traffic without meaning to they don't
even know they did it maybe the other
car was in their blind spot you ever
done that don't you wish you had a horn
that could talk it's a excuse me I'm
really sorry i just did that I didn't
mean to have a nice day god bless you
please don't notice that bumper sticker
on the back of my car really Christians
are not like this normally you know it
happens it happens by accident sometimes
people just don't know why don't they
know well maybe they're in a hurry maybe
they're not paying attention I think
many times we are rude to other people
because we're distracted we're just not
paying attention and so we're rude
without even realizing it and we need to
become more self-aware that's number two
number three I think cars sometimes cut
off other cars simply because they
believe that they're more important
their right to get there first matters
more than the other person's they really
just they just don't care there there
it's what they it's not that they want
to be mean they just want what they want
and unfortunately you happen to be there
so I had to cut you off sorry just came
with a territory and then that's number
three number four I think sometimes
people cut off people in traffic and a
rude in this way because they
intentionally are mean people because
they have learned to this to survive in
this world I better cut them off before
they cut me off no that's the way you
survive if I start letting people in
there going to walk all over
me in Boston you gotta drive
aggressively got to hurt them before
they hurt you we'll talk about that
because that is also why many of us are
rude especially when we're engaging in
conflicts because we have learned that
to survive it's not just about resolving
a conflict I've got to put that person
down before they can get me and we've
learned that as a survival mechanism but
it's really rudeness and it's not love
and it's not survival either so we'll
talk about that so those are the four
reasons that I've picked for rudeness
there's probably plenty of others and if
you have some ideas let me know
afterwards and I will steal from you for
the next time i preached this sermon I
didn't mean to be rude we are rude
number one because we sometimes forget
that there's a person in that car we
forget the humanity of the other person
right love is to honor a person simply
because they are a human being and we
never read the Ten Commandments right
we're celebrating you know Ten
Commandments honour thy father and thy
mother that it may go well with you in
the land he may live long and prosper
you know honor the word for that in the
Hebrew and I've no I'm sure I'll get it
wrong but it comes from the same word
for glory kaval which is is the word for
glory like the glory of the Lord and it
means glow a so glorified kavod the root
of that has to do with weightiness or
heaviness so honoring your parents means
taking them seriously not taking them
lightly this person matters this is a
person to be taken seriously it's a
person to be honored why because they're
your parents and that's just the way it
should be but we are called to honor
every human being on the face of the
earth because we believe as Christians
that every person is created in the
image of God that every human being
bears within them a reflection of the
God who made them and because of that
they inherently deserve honor and
respect just because they're human it
doesn't matter how they behave
it doesn't matter what they look like
what nation they're from or how they are
dressed it doesn't matter their social
status if they are human beings they are
worthy of respect simply because of
their humanity now Satan who comes to
steal kill and destroy has sought to
distort the image of God and people to
deface them to twist them into to lower
their dignity that they behind lowes we
would say in Spanish but God comes that
we might have life and have it
abundantly that God would restore the
dignity of humanity and part of how we
do that is by respecting people and we
do that in society all the time right we
respect certain people because of the
office they hold we should respect and
honor the president the governor the
mayor different ruling officials police
force we should respect because of the
office they hold and what they represent
you may voted for the other guy or gal
but it doesn't matter they hold the
office you respect them because of the
office they hold right same thing with
people doesn't matter who they are this
person before you are next to you is a
profoundly important person and we need
to treat them with courtesy and respect
now this gets to be a challenge with
people that are looked down upon in our
society if you have your Bible and you
could turn to the book of James chapter
2 James to James chapter to look at what
the Apostle James says to the Christians
about how they treat people who come in
from the streets the way they look James
2126 my brothers and sisters believers
in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must
not show favoritism in Spanish accep
seond a better sona's suppose a man
comes into your meeting wearing a gold
ring and fine clothes and a poor man in
filthy old clothes also comes in now I'm
in verse 3 of James chapter 2 if you
show special attention
to the one wearing fine clothes and say
here's a good seat for you but to the
poor man you stand there or sit on the
floor by my feet have you not
discriminated among yourselves and
become judges with either evil thoughts
listen my dear brothers and sisters has
not God chosen those who are poor in the
eyes of the world to be rich in faith to
inherit the kingdom he promised those
who love Him but you have dishonored the
poor that speaks for itself doesn't it
very practical words to a church we have
the privilege and honor of being a
church where people will drop in a lot
and I pray and hope that we will be a
community where everyone who comes here
experiences respect and honor that when
they come here they know I am safe in
this place I will be treated well
doesn't matter how I am dressed or I
don't have to know how to but I will be
received with dignity and that includes
how we address people how we speak to
them how we there should be a feeling
that each person who comes is an honored
guest now that also doesn't mean that
we're condescending or patronizing to
people right you treat people as people
manda man woman a woman this is a human
being before me in fact when we are rude
the Apostle Paul says that it's as if we
are defiling a temple would anyone here
take spray paint and just spray paint
here you know sometimes you know bigots
or people who do horrible things will
deface places of worship right you would
never dream of doing that would you
dream of maybe putting down though
someone you know in church that you
think is not really a very nice person
and you put them down in the way you
talk about them and treat them maybe you
might church fights happen it happens
the Apostle Paul says that you as the
church are the Temple of the Holy Spirit
and anyone who destroys order
cases God's temple God will destroy him
when I speak negatively about a brother
or sister in Christ it's as if I took
spray paint and vandalized the church
building but much worse because this is
a building where God's people meet it's
a beautiful it's an important building
its space we've set aside to the
purposes of God but the Holy Spirit
actually lives inside of Christians real
temples each person and as a community
we are the temple right then time simple
and to speak poorly of members of that
temple is to deface the structure in
which God's Spirit dwells rudeness is
does that so what I would encourage us
to do here with this point number one
you're driving along remember there's a
person in the car remember that there is
an image of God inside the human being
before you and even the person who is
mean to you even that boss at work they
are image bearers of the Living God
number one number two sometimes we are
rude simply because we are clueless we
don't even know we're being rude we're
rude by accident sort of like the
absent-minded professor who's lost in
his own thoughts I one of my favorite
absent-minded professors I had in
seminary legendary for this once bumped
into a student of his on the street
corner they talked for a couple minutes
and then he said excuse me which way was
I going when we bumped into each other
that way oh good I've eaten lunch
already okay and he kept walking he
wasn't sure if he'd even had lunch yet
he did remember which way he was going
because he was thinking important
thoughts right now sometimes when people
are absent-minded you walk through a
door in the door slams shut on the
elderly lady behind you anyone ever done
that and then you like don't what did I
do anyone ever seen your husband or your
kid do that I did you didn't see what
you were just rude to that person I
didn't even realize you're absent-minded
you just want to thinking kids do this
all the time right a big part of raising
kids is simply teaching them what's rude
and what's
not yeah that's rude when you do that
right you shouldn't need to tell them
but you do it does not come naturally
right we're rude sometimes simply
because we're unaware of it now this can
become very serious when our absent
mindedness can denigrate or humiliate
other people we read our verse from the
book of Corinthians does anyone know the
context where the the teaching on the
Lord's Supper happens in the book of
Corinthians you ever read that with you
know the words we read this I received
what I receive from the Lord I also
passed along to you that on the night he
was betrayed Jesus took bread and broke
it you know that text it comes from a
text where the Apostle Paul is teaching
about rudeness in the church and about
rudeness during the Lord's Supper itself
anyone ever been to a potluck dinner
where you go and everyone brings food in
those days they would celebrate the
Lord's Supper at a potluck dinner
everyone would bring food and you would
sit down with your families and groups
and everyone would eat and then at one
point they would pause and they would
consecrate the meal to the Lord and they
would remember Jesus's body sacrificed
on the cross for us there Lord's Supper
was part of a what they would call love
feast a full meal right but there was a
problem in Corinth some people would sit
at tables with their friends and they
would eat and eat and eat and there
would be a poor person who didn't have
any food sitting there alone at a table
during the Lord's Supper itself
humiliated you ever sat at a table all
by I know I'm asking a lot of questions
forgive me you ever sat at a table all
by yourself when you're maybe you were a
new student in college you didn't know
anybody and you sat at the table by
yourself and everyone else seems to have
friends everyone but you and you're
sitting there alone feeling like you
stick out well that was happening at the
Lord's Supper in Corinth there were
people who would sit alone and go hungry
while other people would just pig out
and even get drunk at the Lord's feast
the Apostle Paul says that that is
participating in the Lord's Supper in
and onward
the manor and be careful because you're
sinning against the body and blood of
the Lord when you do that that's the
context of that warning they were being
rude at the Lord's Supper you know what
I think I think some people knew what
they were doing they just didn't care
right they just said all those people
will forget them anyway but I think some
people didn't realize just how rude they
were being because they were really into
their conversation they were really into
their table right they had their friends
their their reading they're talking and
they didn't even notice the person
sitting alone over there I would
encourage us to pay attention especially
a church but all the time to that one
person who might be sitting off alone or
look sad or look like they need a
greeting and not be just so wrapped up
in my own close circle of acquaintances
that I forget that we may be
unintentionally being rude now
especially in a community such as this
where it's a mixed community there's
people from all over a lot of people
barely know anyone yet this takes a lot
of work and I hope we come to church on
a mission saying I am going to find
someone to make them feel welcome in
this church today I'm on a mission and
so I'd encourage you be careful that
we're not unintentionally rude it
happens all the time but if you're
driving and you cut someone off because
you don't notice them why it's usually
because you're either you're in a hurry
you got to get there so you cut someone
off without realizing it or you're not
paying attention you're listening to the
music or whatever and you're just not
paying attention part of courtesy and
politeness and honoring people means
slow down and notice the people around
you just notice them it takes some
effort but eventually becomes a skill
that we learn Jesus was an expert at
this remember the story where he was in
a hurry to get to a house to heal a
little girl who was dying and she was
only 12 and it was a big crowd of people
and they were pushing through the crowd
and a lady who was bleeding touched him
she'd been bleeding for 12 years and she
said if I just touched the hem of His
garment
healed she touched him and was healed
and then she disappeared in the crowd
jesus said enough of this pushing and
shoving I'm gonna stop and I'm going to
notice the human being who just touched
me somebody touched me and people like
everybody's pushing and shoving how can
you say somebody touched me says no
somebody touched me with faith and he
waited until that woman came and told
her story they said precious daughter
your faith has healed you go in peace
Jesus saw the human being he slowed down
and he stopped to show honor to a person
who had been dishonored and rejected in
society for 12 years I'd encourage you
to slow down a little bit take the
earphones out and pay attention to the
people around you they're human beings
to be honored now another reason that
we're sometimes rude without realizing
it is because we come from different
cultures right now forgive me I know I
talked about this a lot but it's very
important so we have to talk about this
a lot we come from different cultures
and you know sometimes what's okay in
dorchester is not okay in Tokyo or in
Nigeria or even in Atlanta or LA what's
okay in one culture might be very rude
in another culture right and it could be
every how about eye contact right in in
at least in North American euro
Caucasian if you're not looking someone
in the eye you're being rude you're not
listening but there are some cultures
where the child looks the mother and the
island says don't you look at me in the
eye like that you're being rude this
poor kid is getting one message at
school at another at home I contact I
had dear friends at seminary who were
from Japan we're also eye contact was
you know it was considered kind of rude
to just look at someone especially male
females very intimate and and but they
learned that you need to make eye
contact in the United States so they
would sit and they would just stare at
you lay they really working hard they're
like I'm trying to be polite
but it feels so rude right there are
some cultures where laughing out loud is
rude we're showing your mouth when
you're laughing is rude and so you have
to cover your mouth as you laugh right
and there's others where i just opened
the mountain laughs it's okay
differences in cultures you know in
japanese american culture it is polite
to slurp your soup you know that you
know that today a man's got some
slurpers here yeah it's not polite in
your house don't don't do it there but
it is polite it means you like the soup
you like the soup I've heard there some
cultures I don't know which ones where
after you finish a meal it's the best
compliment you could give the cook just
to sit back and cut loose with a nice
big belch that's polite but then you try
it somewhere else and it doesn't go over
as well you get the point I'm making
it's a mess a multicultural community is
a mess it's a it is a hodgepodge of
offenses and misunderstandings and when
somebody is violating one of your
cultural norms usually the last thing
you're going to think is oh well maybe
they're like that in their culture
you're not going to think that you know
what you're going to think you think why
are they being so rude that's what
you're going to think we need to learn
if we want to be the church the way
we're called to be our church we're
going to need to learn to give people
the benefit of the doubt the Bible says
love covers a multitude of sins and
offenses it means when someone seems to
be being rude you step back and you
think maybe they just don't know any
better way back you got to be careful
because you don't be like well he's a
gringo maybe he just doesn't know you
can't be like that because then you know
you don't want to be condescending but
you want to give people the benefit of
the doubt but it also means if this is
going to work then we're going to have
to work at it you're going to have to
learn it slurping your soup it may be
its fine at home but you can't do it in
other households just going to have to
learn because if you want to honor the
person before you love is not
rude love needs to sometimes sacrifice
what you think is okay in order to be
polite so many times were rude simply
because we don't know any better and we
all make mistakes and hopefully we can
be an atmosphere where we can laugh at
ourselves and be gracious with each
other so we don't have to walk on
eggshells we can be free to make some
mistakes and forgive each other now part
of it though means giving up my right to
do things my way reason number three for
cutting people off is I have a right to
the road and no one else does I'm in a
hurry I gotta cut them off I have a
right to do this a big part of honoring
other people is yielding your right to
express yourself as you think you need
to in honor of what the people around
you need now let me give some examples
here in the in the community of corinth
and i'm using them a lot because they
were very rude we know from the 50 and
the Apostle Paul wrote this to the
Corinthians there were people who had
the gift of tongues right we've talked
about that here it's a gift of the Holy
Spirit where a person can pray in a
language they don't even understand it's
a beautiful thing it activates their
spirit it helps them worship God in a in
a language that only their spirit
understands a beautiful thing we
encourage that here but in that church
sometimes people would speak in tongues
really loudly and they would sort of
take over the service and then someone
would start speaking in tongues over
them and it becomes sort of dueling
tongue speakers right and it become kind
of a tongue speaking contest took our
visitors are like what church I've i
just added but people would think and
why did they do that now there might
have been a variety of reasons but they
might have thought I can't help it the
Holy Spirit is in me I have to I have to
pray the way I need to pray says but the
Apostle Paul says what about the people
around you what about the visitors who
come in we're going to think you're just
crazy they're not going to know what
you're doing the Apostle Paul says that
that's in the Bible visitors are going
to come and think you're crazy that is
directly in the Greek first Corinthians
14 you can
we being aware of the people around us
and giving up my right to express myself
in favor of politeness to the community
that's love now all of that within
reason I still got to be me right I'm
never going to be a Latino I tried to
for like 15 years i pretended i was a
Latino and tried to and I didn't fool
anybody I'm a-gettin I say I'm a gringo
confundido I tried this didn't work say
okay at the end of the day I'm I am Who
I am and I by the grace of God and I'm
not going to pretend on something
different okay but all of that with an
awareness that I may need to adjust ways
I do things out of deference to the
people around me that's love love is not
rude now another example of that in
Corinth food offered to idols in those
days you didn't just go to the grocery
store to buy meat you went to the temple
markets where animals have been
sacrificed to idols and then they would
sell the leftover meat in meat markets
and people would buy their meat and eat
it now there were some Christians who
were scandalized by this they said I
can't eat meat from an animal that's
been sacrificed to an idle no it would
defile me now there were other
Christians like the Apostle Paul who
said well I didn't offer the animal to
an idol I didn't worship the idol but I
like me and God made that cow no matter
what they did with it and I want to eat
it right and so the Apostle Paul said no
problem by the meat eat the meat enjoy
it and that's okay right because the
earth is the Lord and the fullness
thereof but then what about the person
who thinks oh no they're scandalized by
this the Apostle Paul and other
Christians had a decision to make is he
free to eat me yes he can do what he
wants he's not doing anything wrong but
what if him eating me is going to
scandalize his Christian brother or
sister who
for that person it is sin god bless you
had to be politely love is not rude so I
sorry about that but and they had to
decide it's not about my freedom to eat
whatever I want it's about what this
person needs what's going to bless the
people around me right so he is he free
yes he could eat meat if he wanted to
but he intentionally adjusts his own
freedom out of deference for the people
around him we have to do that all the
time if we want to love the people
around us now again gotta be you you
don't let what you know is good be
spoken of as evil don't let someone
condemn you when they find out you eat
meat at home so well it's you know I
this is what I believe but don't
intentionally scandalize another person
be aware of your context now finally
part of it too and then I have one other
point out too that we are rude because
we assert our right to say whatever we
think right anyone like that and said
though I speak the truth yo hablo live
at her Dobb he know where they had
canale my body I see soy I'm gonna speak
the truth no one's gonna stop me right
why do I was going to Spanish when I do
an attitude what's up with that why do I
always do that because it just doesn't
translate it doesn't translate you know
the some words just don't translate into
English people who think I have the
right to say what I think it's America
right free country I can say what I
think especially if you're a Christian
speak the truth we gotta preach you know
I think very often people in society who
are not from Christian churches don't
like Christianity not because of what we
believe but because we believe it in an
obnoxious way we say what we think
rudely we put others down there's rude
what does Peter say there's a great
verse about this in second Peter here
I'll find it well I guess I don't have
it yeah 2nd Peter 3 14 and 15 but even
if you should suffer for what is right
you're blessed it says but in your
hearts Revere Christ is Lord
always be prepared to give an answer to
everyone who asks you to give the reason
for the hope that you have but do this
with gentleness and respect keeping a
clear conscious conscience so that those
who speak maliciously against your good
behavior in Christ should be ashamed of
their slander in other words if
someone's going to hate you because
you're a Christian let it be because
you're a Christian and not because
you're rude about being a Christian
right that you can disagree and speak
what you think but do it with gentleness
and respect for the other person now I
was thinking about this as I was
thinking about one of Jesus's sermons to
the Pharisees remember what did Jesus
call the Pharisees where the Pharisees
were the hypocritical religious leaders
of his day and he said you brood of
vipers who warned you to flee from the
coming wrath John the Baptist too and I
thought well is that polite calling them
a brood but if I were Jesus's PR guy I
might come out with a little statement
afterwards trying to you know soften and
Jesus like no no brood of vipers just
like when I'm translating for Roberto
sometimes you notice that such as he'll
say something and I'll translate and be
like no no I was being a little harsher
than that then he'll let people have it
you know was Jesus being rude no Jesus
was being prophetic okay like the
prophets of old Jeremiah you know
Ezekiel Elijah sometimes people need
harsh medicine they need a wake-up call
they need someone to shake them okay so
some of you may say well I'm a prophet
to your not Jeremiah you're not a zekiel
and you're certainly not Jesus okay they
can do that I'm not saying we never give
people a hard truth though okay we need
to sometimes the truth hurts sometimes
and there's nothing you can do about it
but does the truth intentionally demean
or belittle another person does it shame
another person insult in in Ephesians it
says speak
truth in love in love so we need yes you
have a right to tell the truth I hope
you tell the truth but we need to speak
the truth in love in a way that is
respectful and honoring to the people
around us finally so we've talked about
the reasons for being rude one because
you forget there's a person in the car
that's why you cut them off number two
because you're absent-minded you don't
even realize you're being rude number
three because you insist on your right
your right to express yourself your
right to say what you think number four
sometimes we are rude simply to be mean
if we're honest right simply to be mean
we've learned that I got to hurt them
before they hurt me got to put them down
to sort of make myself feel safe and in
a high position it's the root of
bullying really in racism and all kinds
of oppression most significant racism if
you study history significant racist
movements like you know in the in the US
19th century Jim Crow Europe you know
Germany the anti-semitism most of these
major racist movements are based on a
fundamental insecurity know a certain
group feels insecure about itself needs
to find a victim to blame a scapegoat
put them down to make our group feel
better right the root of bullying and
meanness and rudeness is very often fear
and insecurity you've been hurt you've
learned you've got a fight and you got
to be mean or otherwise they're going to
walk all over you now that is not
assertiveness because there is a place
for assertiveness there's a place for
strength but that's different from being
rude it's different from denigrating or
humiliating another person so sometimes
we're rude simply to put the other
person down or sometimes were rude to
hurt them back when you're in an
argument or a discussion with someone
right they said something you got to
give it right back to them Bam Bam Bam
Bam and it escalates it it escalates and
escalates and then certain things are
said that can never be taken back right
I heard of a great activity done with
little kids in a summer camp take them
outside onto the field give them all a
little tube of toothpaste out on a field
outside right and now say okay now
everybody squirt the tooth paste into
your hands they squirt it all into their
hands and they're all having fun it's
like you mean I'm allowed to do this
yeah yeah squirt it into their hands I
quickie now everybody I wanted to take
the toothpaste and put it back in the
tube okay and we'll have a race and
they're all trying to get it back in the
two and of course it doesn't work and it
gets very messy and here's the lesson
our words are like that once they're out
it's very messy trying to get your words
back in the tube I would encourage you
to learn how to fight fair okay
especially in your household there are
rules for a fair fight take discipleship
level three lesson whatever there are
two pages of rules for a fair fight it's
okay to have a discussion or an argument
or even an argument we're but there are
rules of respect that if you observe
those then once it the dust settles you
haven't wounded the relationship in a
more profound way love is not rude now
that takes learning and it takes effort
because how do sometimes you're angry
sometimes people are bad and you're
having a dialogue with them but if we
learn how to stand up with assertiveness
but still respect the dignity of that
other person while then love reigns in
the household and we can do that we can
learn how to do that we will make
mistakes you will be rude if you drive
in Boston at some point you will cut
someone off either one day you'll be in
a bad mood you just decide you hate
Toyota's and you'll just cut off a
Toyota I don't know why or maybe you'll
be not paying attention so I'm going to
be in your blind spot maybe you'll be in
a hurry whatever maybe it'll happen we
are going to be rude sometimes
but God can help us be different the
love of Christ is stronger than the
flesh it's stronger than the situations
we face and we can reflect Jesus in
practical ways as we learn to honor the
people around us and to love them as God
loved us amen so I would call us this
week pray about this slow down notice
the people around you and let God begin
to make us loving not just in a
sentimental feeling kind of way but
where the rubber hits the road love is
not rude